Thursday, April 21, 2005

EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it!


Who's reading what?

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country -- if they could find the time -- and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
Country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. None of these are read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.


And so it goes....

Friend Phil from Eugene sent me this. I'm sure it's going around the web, but perhaps you lucky few saw it here first. Reminds me of those slogans about not letting a C student run your country, C-/D more like it. But then maybe it's those A and B students pulling his strings. AND most of the voters are there with him, not reading the newspaper, either. If it ain't on TV, it ain't news. Too bad the best and the brightest aren't rising to the top - blame the boob tube voters? And while we're at it, why is it Texas seems to breed so many of these smarmy "all hat no cattle" types putting a muzzle on freedom (and high-minded statesmanship) far and wide? Seems this nation is confusing being brave with being a bully. If we've got the urge to put another Texan in office, at least let's make it Molly Ivins. (Thanks, darlin'...)


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