Thursday, February 08, 2007

Help Me! I'm Not Bored!

Holy moly, I think I'm overwhelmed by NOT being bored!

Is this a twisted existential crisis, or WHAT?

I am thinking that most people get things done because they DO get bored and have to swim against that current, get out of the house, have children, build things, chase money, make a mark, take care of thing, however routine, however rote, however prone to boredom!

It's the catch 22 of boredom. Bored people do boring things. Or WORSE, they make interesting things boring! They're reluctant to feel deeply or express themselves openly and outwardly, so they sort of kill off the joys of life, making them even more conventional and predictable than they are. The Bored are also The Scared. The Bored watch the Weather Channel. The Bored are afraid of the THRILL of life, the DANGER, the RISK. And so they anesthetize themselves and even their social lives with a toning down of feelings, expressions, urges, impulses, flights of fancy.

And habits: living on auto pilot. Habits keep the mundane masses, living their lives of quiet desperation. Their habits ameliorate their desperation, even their despair. So I'm lost there and found, too. I know where I am. And what conclusion did I come to? That the world would be better off if most of what "gets done" didn't get done. And so I've gone through a good many years "wasting time," without any habits to speak of. I just don't have them. Or so few it's scary. I do have compulsions, even a few addictions, but they're not dependable. They're not regular. My life is like my mind, wily, even wise, but if structured at all, only minimally so.

The NON-bored find friggin' flights of fancy in watching the grass grow! That's me. How MANY hours have I spent staring at the plants in the yard? No wonder I survive not being in a thrilling landscape like Yosemite or Yellowstone all the time. Now my yard is not thrilling in any way I can convey, and I am NOT a nature nerd. I don't give a heck for the naming of things or for all those damned details naturalists think are thrilling. No, I just don't need even that stimulus. I do think I stand around at times to counteract the overly stimulating crush of American culture and a good bit of the rest of the world, as well. The world is SO stimulating. I've got stimuli GALORE. I don't have to go make stimuli or chase entertainment to "pass the time." Pass the time? Fine. I can do that standing still. Alone.

Maybe if I were more bored, I'd get more done. Or at least more done that you'd recognize as getting stuff done. That's because your measures are based on the conventionally bored, the predictably motivated. Of course, do nothings, you never hear from them, and you're hearing from me, but still!

Days go by, I don't see another person I know. And I do get depressed and sad and so deeply disheartened it HURTS. But never bored.


At 2/10/2007 5:38 AM, Blogger HouseofPolitics said...

Well, at least someone isn't bored.

political forum

At 2/10/2007 5:40 PM, Blogger Lawrence said...

Not bored, I don't think, but then boredom is a different thing from sadness, depression and suffering, all of which (at times) I DO GOT!

I was inspired to riff this piece while and after listening to an hour of public radio's fine show "To the Best of Our Knowledge," titled, "Boredom: The Tedium is the Message." Believe you me, it's an insightful hour, and you can hear the program at TTBOOK's website.


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