Friday, February 02, 2007

Paris is Burning

Or: The Latest GW Update.

Now, let's see... GW... is that GW for George W.? Nah, been there, done that. How about Global Warming? Hmmm, could be. But better for gossip, political, global AND a la the Academy Awards is... GORE WATCH.

Today is the day that Paris is burning with the new 2007 report on global warming, presented by the United Nations' Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change. And this Parisian burning? Oh yes, it's coming to a neighborhood near you, namely yours.

Today, Paris is burning, along with the rest of the planet. The big news is not new science in the report, last issued in 2001, but the vastly increased size of the audience paying attention to global climate change. There were, of course, wake up calls decades ago. Al Gore himself first heard of global warming in the 1960s. But Katrina seems to serve now as the last straw wake up call for the OIL Ostriches in the 'things are just jim dandy with our heads stuck in the Arab sand' Capital of the World, the good ol' U.S. of A.

At last, as of 2007, this hot topic has become the 9/11 of headlines: this thing could bite us in the ass. And sooner rather than later.

Maybe those multi-million dollar condo sales in Miami don't make so much sense after all.

From today forward, Al Gore and the United Nations are going to get to say "I told you so" all they want. Gloating is not the style of either, but they've been doing their duty for years, and Al Gore just got his Nobel Peace Prize nomination to prove it. So he's hot (or is that cool?) from Washington to Paris to Stockholm and all the way back around the globe to Hollywood. Who else has got a shelf with an Oscar and a Nobel sitting side by side?

Meanwhile, in this context, the news is full of disconnects: If the stock market goes up, that's bad for the climate. If housing starts go up, that's bad for the climate. If new jobs are created, that's bad for the climate. Remember: "sustained growth" is the most vile and evil oxymoron in human history.

This too will pass. Better wisely and peacefully rather than blindly and catastrophically. Time to cool it, you driving fiends, you big screen Superbowler, you Capitalist Pigs, gamblers all, playing a high stakes game we'll all lose. You blind bastards, this is not your winning streak. It's our losing streak.

Stop passing the buck. Stop fucking your planet!


At 2/05/2007 4:12 PM, Anonymous rfruth said...

GW = global warming good one, need to remember that, sorry not a NY Times Select paying member here so Molly eulogy ? oh yea I vote for more satire !

At 2/06/2007 11:22 AM, Blogger Lawrence said...

OK, rfruth, so it is: MORE SATIRE!

Now that Molly is gone, by golly, we sure do need more of it, perhaps ESS-PESCH-LEE down here's un Texas, round abouts.

Thing is, satire's a lot harder to write. And it's harder to get in that witty/zingy mood (or is that MODE?) when the world's going to heck-A-roo in a hand basket.

But I'll try. Yours truly, El Coyote LorenZOO ("MISTER ABN")


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