Thursday, December 07, 2006

Baby Cheney Immaculately Conceived?

The brohaha has begun over VP Cheney's daughter having a CHILD. Thing is, her partner is a woman. Another thing is, there must be a rather more covert partner who is MALE. And this just seems to irk blushing bible thumpers GALORE. Heaven sakes, how could God let something like this happen to the Vice President?

These pious legions want their men and women to come in nicely matched and mated pairs, none of this mod gender swapping or gender bending or out of wedlock liberty for them. (Note the "LOCK" in wedlock.) And "Land of the Free"? Sure, just not THOSE freedoms. The GOP Loyals like things straight and NARROW or not at all. So how dare Mary Cheney announce she's PREGNANT this time of year. It makes the egg nog curddle.

And that name, Mary! Mary as in Virgin Mother? Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary seems to be more like it, and in December no less! What is God going to think? I wonder if there's going to be room in the Big Tent for her, much less the MANGER. Surely, surely she is without sin. He who lives on high (and rules the Senate), ye VP of little faith, give us a sign!

Oh, the woes of being Republican, living bass ackwards AND IN A CAVE (heterosexually, of course, but with plenty of Britney TV) in late 2006.

3 Comments:

At 12/20/2006 3:57 PM, Blogger Eric said...

dude...

first: buy a tv, you might never heard of this device of the devil, but it helps you broaden your horizons

secondly: stop wanking so much and try to figure out why you still live with your mom

and last but not least (this might come as a shock, but try not to eat all your cheesy poofs at once):

There is no god...
Never was.
Never will be.

 
At 12/20/2006 5:56 PM, Blogger Lawrence said...

Interestingly, Eric, should you read further into ABN, I am actually an atheist, thinking, rationally, I hope, that gods are no more than spooks, ridiculous crutches for those unable to float their boats on reason.

And as for TV, same goes. Read on, and you'll see that I have a lot to say about what's on TV. I am familiar with the drug.

But HEY Eric! Thanks for stopping by, and see you again. L

 
At 12/20/2006 5:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Eric, just for the record, not only has Lawrence not lived with me since 1977, but he's a VERY independent sort. Kiss your ass, and BLESS you this holiday season, with good tidings, sincerely, Lawrence's MOM.

 

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