"Time is Running Out"

"Time is running out this shopping season, so hurry in to..."

Yep, that's right folks, once the "shopping season" ends, there won't be any more flat screen TVs, no more iPods in the color you want most, no more no more sweaters or winter coats or underwear or candles or Nutcracker tickets or caviar or cars.

All gone.

And no one shops in January. That would be lame. Instead, then they spend their bucks on fitness club memberships they'll then let lapse six weeks later, right after Valentine's.

So now is the time. Heed the ads. Hurry. Rush. Cut off those other ad watchers for a parking place close to the front door so you can load up in a hurry without having to lose any of those extra pounds you're packing on. Heave ho hoard. Get it done. Pile it up.

'Tis the season.