Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Does God Drive a Gas Guzzler?

I am starting to think that if the Bush administration was divinely ordained, as some earnestly (or at least eagerly) believe, then God must drive a gas guzzler. That's it. If Bush is considered baffo upstairs, then God's definitely an Escalade or Navigator (or Hummer?) kind of deity.

And just maybe he looks a lot like a cigar chomping back room friend of oil slick VP Dick Cheney, too. The question is, what will Cheney and God drive after those 5000 pound-plus heavy drinking Ford Fallacies, Chevy Charades, Nissan Neanderthals, Toyota Tanks and Dodge Dogs become DIE_no_saurs?

With science and good sense under siege on so many fronts, it's really like we've got two political parties in Washington, the Rs vs. the Ds - that would be the God-sanctioned Religious Warriors vs. the Convoluted Diplomats.

At the same time Tony Blair's wanting to put additional pressure on President Bush to have the United States dramatically reduce its production of greenhouse gases, it was revealed that the White House had been intentionally revising official documents to play down the links of industry to global warming - and thus to deceive us - and Blair? Who's really thinking anyone can be fooled?

Philip Cooney is the chief of staff for the White House Council on Environmental Quality. In this White House, it makes sense that he used to be a lobbyist who led the oil industry's war against limits on greenhouse gases. And in looking out for our environmental quality, he doctored lots of official documents to get the coal and oil industries off the hook. Maybe we should put his boss on a hook, though Cooney went one better and even softened some reports already tenderized by some higher ups in the Bush administration.

The NY Times story is here.

This story is breaking just a day after General Motors announced on Tuesday it would be cutting 25,000 jobs over the next few years. Maybe God can afford his heavenly gas guzzler, but down here on Earth, those big beasts have been looking sleekly obscene for a couple of decades. I thought by now they'd be driving hybrids in heaven.

5 Comments:

At 6/08/2005 5:51 PM, Blogger Eliza said...

I am working on a theory, I do not have all the fallacies worked out of it yet, but here are my preliminary thoughts: Christian Fundamentalists promote oil consumption because they are suicidal, suicidal because they want to join Jesus. Instead of committing a quick and individual suicide they are attempting to speed up the demise of the world, thus, having the chosen soldiers return to the Lord. Of course, this is hegemonic and unchristian, since supposedly, Christians cannot predict or dictate the ending and if there is a God they are trying to rush God along or control God’s plans. Naturally they will say, their dictation is God’s plan. blah blah blah. Just leave me out of it and besides big ass SUV/trucks are blocking parking spaces and street signs.

 
At 6/09/2005 7:59 AM, Anonymous heidi said...

I'm pretty sure that God drives a hybrid Rav4.....

At least, that's what was what was parked in my driveway last week when she was here for dinner.

Jesus, on the other hand, loves his Hummer. Told me so himself. ;)

 
At 6/09/2005 8:41 AM, Anonymous Jesus h. Christ said...

No, no, Dad drives a school bus, and I ride a bicycle.

JhC

 
At 6/09/2005 9:01 AM, Blogger heidi said...

Now, Jesus... you tellin' me that you fibbed to me??? Shaaame on you, you bad boy......

 
At 6/11/2005 7:45 AM, Blogger .:Erica:. said...

And then some of us just like to go fast...

My racecar drinks 2 gallons in 1/4 mile. And that is $12.50 per gallon, high leaded, 116 octane fuel.

 

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